Penelope Cruz having Sex - Benidorm - What's the Connection?

If you want a taste of the Real Spain nip down to your local video store and check out the Bigas Luna trilogy; – Huevos de Oro, (which means Golden Balls in Spanish) Jamon Jamon (a Spanish staple) and La Teta y la Luna (The Tit and the Moon, of course!) It’s got all you need to know about Spain; cured meats, garlic, dodgy Costa developers and a naked Penelope Cruz.

Thus equipped you can head down to Benidorm your cojones in hand (I’ll not translate this last!) and know all about the, currently incarcerated, Mayor Gil, 70s soft Swedish porn and how the Manhattan of Spain came about.

Benidorm, or Beniyork if you prefer is more than Beaches, Booze and Bums – but not much if you ask me. Although they do run a Medieval Tournament on the outskirts of Benidorm with feasting and merrymaking medieval-style for all ages. Armoured knights on horseback joust and duel before the king and queen. Sing along with court jesters, or descend into the Pit of Terror. There’s a disco following the entertainment. What more could you ask for after a goldfish bowl of Sex on the Beach or Mojitos in 30 degree heat?

There’s about 4 million visitors to Benidorm each year, so if you can’t pull while you’re down there I’d hang up your jousting pole and ride away up the hills on some old nag! Failing that, you could opt for the Don Quitoxe move and go chasing windmills- basically, go to Amsterdam, get stoned and talk to the buildings!

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