Cold enough for you? It doesn't bother the polar bears.

But when there’s a Polar Bear treating your leg like Saturday night’s kebab, you’ll know he’s there.

The Brits love to moan about the weather, but take a trip up to the nippy Norwegian outpost of Spitsbergen and you’ll know what cold really is, especially when the icicles hanging from your nose pierce through your hanky.

Spitsbergen is mostly used by scientists and divers – yes, there are lunatics who go under that ice for pleasure! when a simple bath with a snorkel and rubber ducky would do. But for the adventurous, and well wrapped up, Spitsbergen is the place to go for Polar Bear spotting and of course bucket loads of hot whiskeys.

It’s not cheap to go, but Expedition run cruises in the summer and your every need is taken care of by professionals.

Start growing your beard now – especially the women.

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